Too Short For This Shit

It was a whiz, a zooming, a whistling, kind of like a low flying jet. You know, until it exploded.

[Sgt DolphLundgren] locked eyes in a moment of idiotic disbelief, just as that adrenaline ice-water-in-the-face feeling took over. We were taking incoming. And close.

We stumbled out of his trailer and outside was complete insanity, everyone running in different directions. One of the impacts was DAMN close.

"Suspect! GET AN AID BAG!" Sgt "Dolph" orders.

"Gotcha! .......Where?"

"On the truck!"

"I don't have a key!" I shout back at him.

"On TOP of the truck!!!"

"Oh! Ok!!!"

I sprinted towards our vehicles and started to climb on top when a thought hit me. I turned around and ran back.

"Where do we meet up?!"


"Oh! ....OK!!!"

I rushed back out to the truck, scambled on top, spitting a cigarette out of my mouth and tossing a water bottle with NoXplode over my shoulder.

Aid bag, aid bag, aid bag, where the fuck, where the fuck, come on goddammit...


I stumbled forward, thinking I spotted it on the truck and racked my skull on the frame of the camo net. Then I threw my rifle behind me onto the front of the truck and scrambled through ammo cans and all sorts of shit on top of the truck while screaming and chaos ensued all around. When I finally spotted the bag and reached for it, the damn thing rolled back further and I had to crawl to get it. I was grunting and panting and cussing myself out while mental images of dudes thoroughly ripped up raced through my head. Once I grabbed the bag, I threw it off the truck, climbed over the cage and stumbled down, grabbed my weapon, and sprinted to the first crowd of people, screaming.


Meanwhile, [Sgt CoolCat] had been in the latrine, taking a piss, when the impact occurred. He stood there, dick in hand, trying to decide if he should finish or not. People immediately start shouting for him, being that he's a medic, so he cuts off midstream, sprinkling piss on his PT shorts, and scrambles outside.

[Stan Marsh] is on the way to call his wife when one of the rounds impacts nearby. Before reporting back to the company for accountability, he assists with wounded. We didn't find out til later, as he never said a damn thing about it.

I looked around as everyone quickly got their shit together.

"Man, I'm too fucking short for this shit," says [Sgt Trucker].

"So, do I sense another blog coming on?" asks [Staff Sergeant Suspect-Almost-Killed-Me-In-A-Rollover]. I look back at him and quickly babble something about MySpace, not wanting to outwardly shush him. Attempted anonymity is a bitch.

The mantra of all the guys: We're too fuckin' short for this kinda shit.

That night, I couldn't sleep worth a shit. Maybe it was the NoXplode, maybe it was wondering if someone was going to spaz out in their sleep and start babbling about incoming, maybe it was because my new bed sucks ass and there's always a light shining on my face. I don't know.

But we are WAY too short for this shit.


  1. LT Nixon said...
    Damn Suspect, keep your head down man. IDF is a motherfucker. Do what you have to do to stay safe (stay inside, don't change your socks/underwear, etc.). You ARE too short for this sort of bullshit. See you in WA.
    membrain said...
    Holy Shit!!! Motherfuckers!!

    "Attempted anonymity is a bitch."

    You can still pull off the one liners when all hell is breaking loose.

    Stay as safe as you can and git back to Fort Lewis while the gittins good.
    BigD said...
    "Holy heart failure!" Batman. What the hell is going on over there...like a war or something! Kudos on the end around to get the aid bag! Reminds me of my days answering the code beeper, running up and down steps with 25 or 30 pounds of resus bag and portable defibrillator slung over my shoulders. My mantra at the time was "I am getting way to old for this bullsh*t!"
    Maybe you couldn't sleep because you had a concussion from banging your head into the camo frame. Questions...why do you have a new bed? What is NO-Xplode?
    You hang tough Shorty-short! You are almost there and I can't wait to hear that you and all your fellow Strykers are home.
    P.S. Can you get Sgt. Dolph's autograph for me? God(s) bless you Suspect, you rock my socks!
    David M said...
    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 05/09/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
    Red said...
    Damn, Suspect.

    That seems to about sum up my reaction. You know, I start to worry when too many days go by between posts. I don't think I'm the only one here who does that, either. Stay safe over there, dude.
    Anonymous said...
    Hel yea man, NoX is the shit. And hmm what kept you up, NoX or an adrenaline rush?!?! I wonder...
    Anonymous said...
    OK. OK. Breathe. You are, truly, too short. This should not be happening. It isn't Kharma. Gawd isn't pissed. It's just the way things are, right now. Breathe.

    We've been checking the news. Lots of stuff happening over there right now. Stay down. Don't volunteer. Don't take any chances.

    It's funny, at San Diego, we could always tell who was new, back from 'Nam. At sunset they're do colors, and fire a cannon. Somebody'd yell, "Incoming!" and, sure enough, some new guy, fresh from the jungle, would be diving on the ground.

    Ahh, the innocent merriment . . .
    Sisu said...
    Okay, that's it! Get back here! I promise to fund your first night of drunken debauchery (even at Fox's...exploitative hell-hole that it is) when you get your keister back in the Soggy WA dirt.
    Anonymous said...
    Got a few drops of adrenaline left in the old adrenal glands for the remainder of this deployment?? Again, ditto Membrain, and Lt Nixon as well.
    Earl said...
    In country is never too short, just like a near miss is never too near... it is still a miss. Counting down is a game with a wake up... hang tough.
    2SBCT Mom said...
    Glad to hear from you Suspect. I was starting to worry. I'm glad you're safe and hope your head is OK.
    Anonymous said...
    don't worry man

    you are probably immortal for now

    it is not your time
    Jean said...
    Too close.
    Glad you're ok.
    Anonymous said...
    Hey kid. Thanks for not getting blown up.

    I'm kind of banking on you being here soon, and in one piece would be preferable.

    I was starting to worry, too.

    Anonymous said...
    Dude, you're so short you have to look up to look down... so short a midget looks down on you... so short that we're waiting to hear you say "I'm here!"

    But not so short the First Sergeant is going to forget he owes you.

    Stay safe.

    Aunt Sandy
    Vixen said...
    That's scary shit! I'm glad you're ok, bumped head aside. I swear, you need to wrap yourself up in bubble wrap! My hopes of a speedy recovery for anyone that was injured. Take care of yourself and keep watchin out for your ass!
    julie anna said...
    Hey Suspect,

    Just wanted to say hi and let you know I'm still a faithful fan- one of many, obviously. I knew you had tremendous talent from the beginning. It's to bad it had to be discovered because you went to war. I'm in Georgia now, and out of Texas, thank goodness. Things are good and I'll be blogging again shortly. Take care and get home in one piece, please. Kiss the Washington rain for me, as I know you'll be back there even if only for a little while.

    Julie Anna Infantry Wife
    Anonymous said...
    I've never posted before. Been reading for months. My son is out there somewhere and hoping he'll be able to share details of his tour as you have shared with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    wakingdaydreams said...
    Dude, get your skinny butt back home. I'll even come up from LA to buy you the first round.

    searchingwithin said...
    Stay safe and best wishes.
    Eclectic Dilettante said...
    Like Red said. When too many days go by I worry too and I don't even know who the hell you are.

    Tune up those spidy senses and remember your one day closer to home.
    2SBCT Mom said...
    Maybe he was shorter than he could reveal :). I'm sure we'll hear from him soon.
    Anonymous said...
    Being short seemed to me to produce some incredibly dangerous moments. The day I was leaving the bush to come back to the world in '68 we were ambushed.

    Stay safe, keep your head down, and good luck.

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