5.28.2008

Oakley Bandits

As we continued our reign of terror in this big Pleasantville FOB full of M16-toting clerks, I saw a couple of my friends standing by some concrete bunkers, with a group of Air Force MPs.

Apparently, one of the insidious Anaconda Gangs broke into the Oakley shop and stole a bunch of shit, and when some of my friends walked into the shop this morning looking to waste money, they found the door open and a bunch of shit missing. The vendor ran up on them, spazzing out, and the almighty authorities were summoned.

[Sgt BenHur] had been in the PX earlier and had bought a Monster energy drink. The Oakley Shop was his next stop. In all their action-seeking glory, the MPs commanded him, "PUT THE CAN DOWN AND STEP AWAY! STEP AWAY FROM THE CAN!!!"

How in the fuck can you even call a tour of duty on this FOB a deployment?

Questioning went on for about two hours or so as each guy gave the same story. Walked into the shop. Door was open. Display case was open. End of story.

Personally, I probably would have made an indignant scene had I been one of the individuals in question. After well over a year of the shit we've gone through for god knows what reason, I just don't see myself taking any rent-a-cops seriously.

No offense, Sandy. You are not, nor will you ever be associated in my mind with these vile creatures. Stay tuned as the bullshit unfolds. I expect a year's worth of idiocy, IEDs not included.

26 Comments:

  1. membrain said...
    A year's worth of Garrison bullshit will beat the crap out of being in Iraq. I normally check here every day but the last time I looked it was still the "Shh" post and now you've gone into glorious Suspect overdrive.

    I've read all the posts and laughed my head off. You made it Dude. We're all so proud. I really do hope you kept the Dragon Ball Z suite 'cause I'd love to see the looks on there faces in Kuwait when they're goin' through your shit looking for heroin. That suit would be just a tad to large to pass of as a present for your nephew;-) As if you give a flying fuck!

    Congratulations! Mission acomplished! Time to go home!

    Don't forget about us when you get back to Fort Lewis now, hear?

    Just a thought: It might be an idea to actually wear that well deserved CIB. I suspect (no pun intended)it will go some ways to cut down the Garrison bullshit.

    Just sayin'
    2SBCT Mom said...
    It's a shame that happened on the FOB. Wouldn't a simple search have cleared your friends? If there wasn't any merchandise on them, cut them loose! LMAO at the "step away from the can". Maybe they thought there was a real monster in it. Were the MPs doing their job adequately? Why did they let the shop get broken into in the first place? :).

    Glad you're safe and heading home soon. Take care of yourself and keep blogging from stateside.
    BigD said...
    Hey Suspect,
    Ok, the "step away from the can" priceless. I needed a good laugh and I can always count on you to provide.
    I am glad that you were not among those being questioned because I think you might have taken it a few steps beyond indignant! Then those M16 totin' MP's would have thrown you in the brig, or the hooscow, or whatever they call jail in the Army.
    I am enjoying the "glorious Suspect Overdrive" too. New fodder for blog posts seems ever present in this man's Army.
    P.S. Hope your rockin' some new Oakley's (*wink-wink*)
    David M said...
    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 05/29/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
    Zion Red said...
    As you know, I recently posted a scathing and unflattering blog entry about you. Now, being human, I have a lot of faults. It's only by the grace of God that I'm ever able to do anything right in the first place. However, one of my good traits is that I'm not afraid to admit when I am wrong and I do believe that I was clearly wrong in this case. I went back and read a lot of your older posts and I have to admit that I had the wrong impression of you. Plus, I had listened to some others that had the wrong impression of you also. Therefore, the only thing for me to do is to say I'm sorry and ask for you and your readers' forgiveness. Of course, you don't have to forgive me. That is totally up to you. It will not hurt me one way or another. However, you might find some freedom in it. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you return safely. God bless.

    I also posted this same entry on my own blog (not that anyone really reads it. It's basically just for my own therapeutic values).

    p.s - I find it interesting that we share a lot of the same musical tastes...just an observation. I'm
    actually listening to your playlist right now as I'm writing this.
    Anonymous said...
    tole 'ja, Zion. He puts the "RAW" in RAWKS!

    As for the MP, well, hate to break your heart, dear, but we're actually selected for being retarded. Anybody who thinks "Cops" is a training film when it's actually "Andy Griffith" meets the criteria for being an MP! We're all wastoids. If you looked at those MP's closely, you'd see their guns are probably not loaded because the battalion commander took away their ammo when some butthead shot off a round near the commander's tent while playing Wyatt Earp on a midnight shift!! Can't tell you how many Generals hated commanding MP units. Thanks for thinking highly of me, though. Shows you have SOOO much more class than I do! Come on home and we'll have a soldier's shot together.

    Aunt Sandy
    Anonymous said...
    Anonymous said...
    outdoor singles [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]about dating[/url] young dating http://loveepicentre.com/ idaho dating site
    Anonymous said...
    shoot em up rapidshare [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/bupropion.htm]bupropion[/url] bodybuilding sluts http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-acidez.htm pediatric blood pressure cuff size rules http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/fml-forte.htm
    medical mutual eneral motors [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/azulfidine.htm]azulfidine[/url] type of disorder abnormalities of the placenta [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/estrace.htm]the cult the painted on my heart[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    post natal depression and effects on breast feeding [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/premarin.htm]premarin[/url] reviews of most effective diet pills http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/nexium.htm unusual facial muscle tightness http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/stress-relief.htm
    crestor drug statin [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/bactrim.htm]bactrim[/url] tagged blood cells foe spleen scan [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/levitra.htm]medical wizard[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    breast au [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/ed-strips.htm]ed strips[/url] care health management quality total http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/abilify.htm sisseton wahpeton health care center http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/vitamin-c.htm
    aerobic exercising weight loss [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/atrovent.htm]atrovent[/url] health beliefs towards osteoporosis in adolescent [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/risperdal.htm]breast reduction surgery site[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    http://www.jesusfreaks-la.de/jfbayern/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=56379 http://www.autopilotnews.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=54525 http://us.nalanda.sch.lk/forum/index.php?topic=62705.new#new http://www.swingers-club.dk/sc/forum/viewtopic.php?p=603197#603197
    http://forum.bwf-game.com/index.php?topic=166800.new#new http://daze.grimcode.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=424558 http://visitkastamonu.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=652080#652080 http://www.minionsguild.net/minions/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=50922
    http://www.armywifecreations.net/mb/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=51027 http://mysecretloveaffair.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=50175 http://www.forum.michellor.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=53609
    Anonymous said...
    medical employment at bethesda naval medical hospital [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/aciclovir.htm]aciclovir[/url] post traumatic stress syndrome and suicide http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/z.htm hitman blood money forum http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/estrace.htm
    furoset westward brand and generic [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/viagra-soft-tabs.htm]viagra soft tabs[/url] thomas pacconi trouble shoot lights [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/i.htm]diet of household silverfish[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    http://meen.in/fexofenadine
    [url=http://meen.in/cholesterol/high-cholesterol-and-drinking-soda-pop]icmarc retirement health services[/url] discount drug cleveland [url=http://meen.in/carbohydrates/deficiency-of-carbohydrates]deficiency of carbohydrates[/url]
    pravachol phentermine pet pharmacy http://meen.in/fluoxetine
    [url=http://meen.in/citalopram/delaware-hydrobromide-citalopram-celexa]drug test cheats[/url] pharmacy colleges in new hampshire [url=http://meen.in/cla/coca-cla]coca cla[/url]
    copper rx discount pharmacy http://meen.in/clarinex/aricept-hyzaar-pravachol-pravachol-ortho-evra-clarinex-actos
    [url=http://meen.in/carvedilol/best-low-dose-carvedilol-beta-blocker]buy cialis in canada[/url] frameless medicine cabinets [url=http://meen.in/clavulanate/amoxicillin-clavulanate-formulation]amoxicillin clavulanate formulation[/url] drug culture in the 1960 [url=http://meen.in/carbohydrates/best-sources-of-complex-carbohydrates]best sources of complex carbohydrates[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    charlotte nc travel conditions http://atravel.in/expedia_boletos-de-avion-tarifas-expedia terry travel trailer
    [url=http://atravel.in/lufthansa_boeing-stearman-pt-17-kaydet]tax deductible travel trailers for business[/url] where did samuel de champlain travel [url=http://atravel.in/hotel_penzance-hotel]penzance hotel[/url]
    alaska travel vacations http://atravel.in/tours_rio-grande-river-float-tours
    [url=http://atravel.in/maps_montana-topo-maps]patriot america travel insurance[/url] travel guide massachusetts [url=http://atravel.in/vacation-packages_seattle-hotel-vacation-packages]seattle hotel vacation packages[/url]
    holiday travel projections http://atravel.in/car-rental_alamo-car-rental-pie travel nurse sign on bonus [url=http://atravel.in/car-rental_rental-car-helena]rental car helena[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    childrens shoes http://topcitystyle.com/brown-white-accessories-color157.html vegan shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/g-star-men-brand42.html]bicycle shoes[/url] laurent cruz cutting chevaux
    http://topcitystyle.com/gucci-stretch-jeans-brand12.html mens shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/khaki-pants-color28.html]african clothes[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    tight shiny clothes http://www.thefashionhouse.us/yellow-on-sale-color44.html design basics home plan designers [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/yellow-brown-evening-cocktail-color194.html]mens saddle shoes[/url] josef seibel shoes online
    http://www.thefashionhouse.us/ermenegildo-zegna-brand124.html comfortable shoes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/purple-v-neck-color37.html]surgical clothes[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    muscle aches in the legs [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/periactin.htm]periactin[/url] matinsburg dental clinic va medical center http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/parte-pills.htm
    activities for health class for upper elementary students [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/women-s-health.htm]women s health[/url] bacterial infections of the cells [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/dramamine.htm ]bath of blood porn [/url] medical pfanenstiel
    are kids usually allergic to rabbits [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/sublingual-cialis.htm]sublingual cialis[/url] which house cleaning product decreases bacteria http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/antivirale.htm
    max muscle stores in oregon [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetische.htm]anti diabetische[/url] epa is a medical proceedure [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/gastrointestinal.htm ]shunt kidney dialysis [/url] exercise and diet regiments
    Anonymous said...
    buy shoes worn by shakira http://luxefashion.us/purple-sweaters-color37.html knockoff designer purses [url=http://luxefashion.us/green-tracksuits-color53.html]danner shoes[/url] decorator interior designer
    http://luxefashion.us/black-beige-roberto-cavalli-color190.html mark henry fashions [url=http://luxefashion.us/?action=products&product_id=936]christian dior gown wedding[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    maintaining knee joint health [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/antidepressivum---anti-angst.htm]antidepressivum anti angst[/url] heart and arrow http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/gesunde-knochen.htm
    environmental health officers and the public [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/atrovent.htm]atrovent[/url] blood outside placenta pregnancy [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/terms.htm ]diabetic exchange diet list [/url] infections in the blood
    personal health programmes [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/plendil.htm]plendil[/url] best company to get pharmacy technician certification http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/hyzaar.htm
    prescriptio0n drug identification [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/metformin.htm]metformin[/url] pa 917 white round pill [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetische.htm ]scranton community medical center podiatric residency [/url] canada pharmacy cheap drugs
    Anonymous said...
    kangaroos shoes corporation http://www.thefashionhouse.us/dark-denim-blue-color165.html gucci black hobo [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/denim-blue-versace-color7.html]jodan team flow shoes[/url] ecco golf shoes
    http://www.thefashionhouse.us/pink-multi-polo-shirts-color103.html ny clothes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/blue-grey-white-shirts-color36.html]lauren fuchsen[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    pill reference dictionary [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/brand-amoxil.htm]brand amoxil[/url] patron saint of medical students http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/calan.htm
    health protection definitions [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/la-sante-des-os.htm]la sante des os[/url] lactose need calcium [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/kamasutra-ribbed-condoms.htm ]schik drug treatment [/url] united pharmacy atlanta
    medical supplies in indiana [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/effexor-xr.htm]effexor xr[/url] turkey health issues http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/de-la-salud-de-la-mujer.htm
    upper chest infection [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/index.php?lng=es&cv=eu]Buy generic and brand medications[/url] pet medical id tags [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/erythromycin.htm ]cascara segrada drug interaction [/url] tea texas school first accountability rating
    Anonymous said...
    http://jqz.in/paroxetine/paroxetine-treatment-in-delusional-disoreders
    [url=http://jqz.in/vpxl/vpxl-maxim-article]police trying to lower teen drug use[/url] distribution of drugs [url=http://jqz.in/paxil/spitzer-and-paxil]spitzer and paxil[/url]
    carrollwood pharmacy http://jqz.in/propranolol/propranolol-coq10
    [url=http://jqz.in/protonix/protonix-nad-nexium]pass marijuana drug test[/url] does the drug nexium have a generic version [url=http://jqz.in/pharma/imap-pharma-screening]imap pharma screening[/url]
    gabriel savon drugs http://jqz.in/phentermine/zyrtec-zyrtec-foradil-phentermine-evista
    [url=http://jqz.in/paroxetine/paroxetine-pharmacy]drug compendia[/url] how to pass a drug test with hydrocodone in my system [url=http://jqz.in/zyban/zyban-welcome-20]zyban welcome 20[/url] health pharmacy drugs and medications s sildenafil [url=http://jqz.in/pheromone/latina-pheromone]latina pheromone[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    bonus ball bingo http://lwv.in/casino-playing-cards computer blackjack free
    [url=http://lwv.in/betting/lewiston-maine-betting]bingo supplies 08724[/url] casino at mount airy lodge in the poconos [url=http://lwv.in/keno/internet-free-keno]internet free keno[/url]
    blackjack phone manager http://lwv.in/joker/homer-joker
    [url=http://lwv.in/casino-playing-cards/wynn-playing-cards]joker 9[/url] empress casino joliet illinois [url=http://lwv.in/baccarat/play-baccarat]play baccarat[/url]
    kansas powerball lottery http://lwv.in/keno/michigan-keno-analyis canada bingo online [url=http://lwv.in/baccarat/baccarat-massena-sale]baccarat massena sale[/url]
    Anonymous said...
    control movie website [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_pumpkinhead_ii_blood_wings/]pumpkinhead ii blood wings[/url] naruto movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_virus/ movie called redline with eddie griffin
    zodiac movie free download [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_replacements/]the replacements[/url] scarecrow movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_manson_family_movies/ catfights sample movie
    movie with halle berry and bruce willis [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_wyrd_sisters/]wyrd sisters[/url] snoop dogg martial arts movie
    us satilite movie uploads [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_water_front/]the water front[/url] hook the movie http://moviestrawberry.com/hqmoviesbygenres/download-genre_action-movies/?page=30 the patriot movie longrifle
    spongebob the movie xbox game [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_weather_man/]the weather man[/url] free movie jenna jameson pornstar http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_pokemon_lucario_and_the_mystery_of_mew/ tmc movie schedule
    Anonymous said...
    the little fox movie clip [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_in_memory_of_my_father/]in memory of my father[/url] paprika movie images http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_touch_the_top_of_the_world/ how long is the cars movie
    southern bell movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_boondocks/]the boondocks[/url] a bothered conscience movie review http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_camp_dog/ roy rogers most recent movie
    movie once dvd soundtrack [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_death_of_a_president/]death of a president[/url] german movie zeta jones and michael douglas
    movie brunswick me [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_resident_evil_extinction/]resident evil extinction[/url] commonwealth 20 movie theatre http://moviestrawberry.com/hqmoviesbygenres/download-genre_biography-movies/?page=2 home made movie porn
    beethoven dog movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_flushed_away/]flushed away[/url] movie spice http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_blue_elephant/ oceans eleven movie

Post a Comment