4.16.2008

What A Dipshit

I perked up in the tower when I saw my platoon rolling back into the gate. I waved at the first truck, waved at the second one, waiting until I was out of their view, then proceeded to give the third truck both middle fingers. Then I turned around and stood in the doorway to the tower so I could flip the rear air guards off.

"Fuuuuuuuck yooooooou, buddy!" I yelled, demonstrating my ability to signal in traffic.

A hand reaches under the camo net of the Stryker and lifts it up to reveal none other than my First Sergeant. He points directly at me.

"Yeah, I got you now! I GOT you!"

I stood there in shock as my middle finger and the rest of my arm slowly dropped to my side, the same way my jaw slowly dropped to my chest. He has NEVER ridden in that truck before. What are the fucking odds?

Lemme tell ya about this guy real quick. Though most of the time, me and authority clash, not with this guy. He embodies what I thought the Army would be like. He's tough but fair, capable, he's not all about the bullshit. I have endless respect for the man. He's fucking awesome, but God help you if you piss him off. He'll snatch your soul.

And there I was leaning out of the tower with The Finger flying, shouting, "Fuuuuuuck yoooou!"

After that, I just shook my head and cracked open a bottle of water. Started hydrating.

17 Comments:

  1. Anonymous said...
    So what did he do???
    Vixen said...
    That's fucking hilarious! If only someone has taken a picture....
    Earl said...
    Kind of stupid to get caught acting like a punk high school kid by someone you respect and hoped he respected you. He has you now, he will continue to work on your growing up and being better - if you want that respect one day, again. Good luck! He is laughing at your stupidity, but hoping of that possible improvement.
    LL said...
    Dude, he already caught you once. You're a scamp!! But a lovable one. hahaha
    Anonymous said...
    Funny thing about First Sergeants. They either consider you the bane of their existence, or their pet project. You won't know which orne you are until you get back up from the ground. If he looks you in the eye, you're ok. If not.... well at least you gave him a great story to talk about at the nursing home. I gave my First Sergeant a whole head of grey hairs and a reason to retire early. I'm guessing your TOP knows you're a great soldier. I'm sure it won't hurt very long!

    Aunt Sandy
    BigD said...
    You Mister are incorrigible! I bet your First Sgt. had the biggest grin on his face when he caught you with your flying fingers in the proverbial cookie jar! There is not enough water in the world to hydrate you for the can of whup ass the 1st Sgt is about to open up on your sorry little butt. I needed a good laugh tonight and boy did I get one. I hope the punishment is worth you getting out all that unabashed aggression. Ditto on the video, I would pay good money to see that movie.
    Part I - Tower Dude & The Flying Finger
    Part II - 1st Sgt.'s Revenge
    If the First Sgt. does snatch your soul, be sure to get it back, cause that's what makes you the crazy messed up dipshit that you are.
    Anonymous said...
    Yes, will be interesting to see what he comes back at you with -- or will he let you just stew for a few days??
    Good luck on that!!
    Kat
    Jenni said...
    Cory and I were just talking about Christmas Day two years ago the day before yesterday. (We happened to see that same kid while driving back to Dad's...)

    Kinda ironic you were about to do the same thing on the other side of the world as you were back then. Some things never change. Yet, I don't think that's a bad thing...I'm definitely looking forward to more "ohmygod...I can't believe you just did that!" moments that only you can come up with.
    ;)
    Shari said...
    Funny as hell! My guess is that if he is half the man you say he is, he is laughing on the inside even if he is stern on the outside. Good luck with this man! LOL!! Keep us posted on the outcome...
    Anonymous said...
    I'm guessing that you break up your Top's day like you break up ours. He'll use you for entertainment, but I doubt he'll be too hard on you.
    Good luck with that. :P

    Lynda
    Red said...
    No matter what he actually does to you, he's probably laughing inside. Tell us how this one turns out!
    Anonymous said...
    This could be serious. Mebbe you could blame it on the drugs?

    OMFG, busted by an adult! How will you ever deal . . . ? Traditionally, you will get shit detail untill the entire compound knows what a sorry dip-shit you are. At least that is the message I got, wayback.

    Gotta love it. Stuck up a tower (mast, in my case) doing something stunningly mundane with a chipping hammer and a paint brush, stupidly on display, an object lesson for all, as in "FUCK WITH ME AND THIS COULD BE YOU, MOTHERFUKKER!"

    Ah, yes, I remember it well . . .
    David M said...
    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 04/17/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
    Anonymous said...
    That is absolutely friggin priceless.
    I would pay money to have seen the look on your face.

    And now, I'm dying to find out what your punishment is. 8-D
    membrain said...
    "He embodies what I thought the Army would be like. He's tough but fair, capable, he's not all about the bullshit. I have endless respect for the man. He's fucking awesome, but God help you if you piss him off. He'll snatch your soul."

    I've been fortunate enough to have had a few Sergeants like that. They make the Army what it's supposed to be.
    ABWF said...
    So.....how was the "counseling" from the 1SG?
    Anonymous said...
    hahaha. i am guessing you are in for deep shit! G-Luck Soldier!

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