2.24.2008

The Shire Of Fobbitton

In-transit limbo, the mind numbing foul tasting garbage that never finds it's way into the brochures, that's the current phase. Different flavor of purgatory.

I'm waiting for a flight from one nowhere to another, killing time on some giant FOB filled to the brim with POGs (Personnel Other than Grunt). We lay on the floor of the terminal with our gear, trying to sleep while a butchered version of The Butterfly Effect plays on AFN. Of course I can't sleep, and that delirious jet-lag state is soon to follow.

Earlier on, The Homeboy and I decided to catch a movie to pass the time. Enormous, almost civilian movie theater, complete with a balcony. Legitimate cinematic experience. The lights go down, they show a couple previews, and then The Army or The Fates or fuck-knows-what throws another hunk of shit at me.

The National Anthem begins, and in front of the flag onscreen, the words "Shock and Awe" explode. Cue footage of paratroopers, the Twin Towers getting hit, massive bombings, some dipshit in training gear burning off rounds of blanks like he's auditioning for Black Hawk Fucking Down, a horrible montage of hooah-hooah horseshit, and these motherfuckers eat it up.

"What the FUCK is THIS?!" I vomit to no one in particular as we all stand. Some dick who's probably never set foot outside of the wire hits me on the arm. Oh, my arms are crossed. I drop them to my sides, in the lamest attempt at half-assing the position of attention as the bullshit flashes by on the big screen.

This is fucking PORNOGRAPHY for these paper-pushing desk jockey motherfuckers, and I'm ready to puke blood. They eat it up, and I can't help but wonder if any of them have buried any friends out here, and if so, how in the great cosmic fuck they can be so impressed with this sick joke. The National Anthem is one thing, but when you pin propaganda to it to impress people with immaculately clean uniforms and Never Fired M16s, shamelessly pimping out images of false-motivation and utter destruction, well...I'm sorry if I can't baaa baaaa along with the herd.

One more thing I won't miss when I'm gone, that's all it is. Fuck the video, fuck the person who slapped it together, fuck the person that thought it would be a good idea to include it just before showing National Treasure 2. Fuck 'em all, I'm going on leave. This is vented now, so it's done and I'm over it.

The first shot is for you. Line 'em up.

17 Comments:

  1. Sisu said...
    Sorry you fell down the fobbit hole. That handful of months until you are winging your way closer to home is getting smaller.... Glad you are getting some leave time.
    Anonymous said...
    Enjoy your leave. You surely deserve it. Thank you and God bless.
    Shari said...
    HAVE A GREAT LEAVE!!!! Can't wait till you get back and can tell your loyal readers ALL about it..... HAHAHA!!
    themorethingschange said...
    Ya know, the use of those images really bothers me too...

    we don't need to have them shoved down our throats to honor the national anthem...it gets my back up when I feel like I'm being manipulated...

    some psych type must have decided it would be good for morale, tho it seems likely only the newbies would be affected by it...

    On another tack...LOVELOVELOVE the Weezer tune!...don't think you could call me an indie rocker but I love it!!

    I love how it cooks and while they're hardly the same genre, it brings the Marshall Tucker Band to mind...don't know why, been a long time since my Marshall Tucker days but those boys can cook too.

    My loyal 4-legged companion thanks you for Weezer too...lately she'd been leaving the room when I loaded your page...nowadays she remains curled at my feet.

    Thanks for giving us the option to download your tunes...

    I don't really expect you to be reading this but just in case, have a grest time out there in *____________*!!!
    ~P~
    Jenni said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    Jenni said...
    chris and i went to see beowulf and they played a lovely montage during the previews about joining the army that sounds a lot like what you described. i could practically hear you tell me what a bunch of BS it is...

    with your videography skills, you could make a video depicting what the army truly is like. or not. something tells me that'd be the last item on your list of random things to do when all this is said and done.

    you're finally on leave. enjoy it...screw the propraganda and the stupid people who talk too much. you've waited too long for this...like you said, drink it up (and no, i don't necessarily mean alcohol...) ;)

    glad you're finally out of there, and you're that much closer to coming home.

    don't forget to reset your counter when you get back...you won't be 326 days sober anymore =)
    LT Nixon said...
    Haha, good post Suspect. You need to come by my residence which is the ultimate in Fobbitdom, the IZ. It might make you wretch.

    At least they didn't subject you to painful AFN propaganda about not shaking your baby and why all the "cool kids" ride motorcycles with their helmets.

    I trust everyone was properly wearing their reflective belts during this screening of National Treasure 2. Proper reflective belts on the FOB are essential to any counter-insurgency campaign.
    Red said...
    Seems like I see those vids everywhere I go. They play them on the campus open network for cryin out loud! Can't say I've never thought about it, but I think they'd be doing folks a favor to be more...honest, about what's really over there.

    Be that as it may. Enjoy yourself! Try to chill, and with any luck you won't remember too much of whatever lands you in the news while on leave! ;)
    David M said...
    The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 02/25/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
    Jessie said...
    Poppet, enjoy leave. Don't forget that alcohol is your bestest friend. Because it totally is.
    Earl said...
    Enjoy your leave, from the fools in the government that want you to do it for them... they are the ones that think that National Anthem Rocks... but then no one tells them how much smarter you are than they thought. Enjoy your leave, do fun stuff for you and those you love.
    Anonymous said...
    Dude, I love you! "...Anger is allowed when it is the Buddha's anger...When he needs to be angry, he must be angry. Sometimes anger is like a sunset. Even though it looks like anger, actually it is a beautiful red sunset. If anger comes from pure mind, from purity like a lotus, it is good." -Shunryu Suzuki
    Looks like Buddha anger to me. Have a fantastic leave!
    Aprillini said...
    Wow. That IS porn. I think your reaction is appropriate. Not that you give a damn what I think. I, too have downloaded some of your chosen music. Love the Weezers. Thanks. I sure hope you can chill out on leave! TRY.
    Anonymous said...
    At the risk of being lazy, DITTO everything everyone else said. Have tons of fun and leave all your worries behind!
    Lynda
    membrain said...
    I'll have a Scotch, neat, to that!
    Dayngr said...
    Great post, great blog. Thanks for all you do!

    Supporting Our Military, One eMail at a Time @ eMail Our Military
    Army Sergeant said...
    Yeah. The National Anthem means a lot, and it doesn't need blood-guts-and-glory tagged onto it. I agree with you completely.

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