The New State Of The Suspect Address

I go to the shoddy movie theater to see some MP girl play her guitar and sing. And she's good, really good. But they plugged in a Christmas tree, off to the side of the stage, and it's a complete distraction.

I shift in my seat and furrow my eyebrows in slight confusion. What's the sense in this? Poor excuse for concert lights, and besides, WHAT is a Christmas Tree doing here anyway? Oh wait, it's December? Well GOLLLL-LLLLY!!! Who'da thunk it? I mean, ya coulda fooled me, bub, what with the absence of snow on the ground, with everything looking exactly the same as it always does, except not with the thermostat set to "Kenya". You shittin me, Powers That Be? You telling me that it's that Holiday Season again?

Nah, I don't buy it. There's people running around out there with suicide vests hiding weapons and planting bombs and shaking our hands and terrorizing their neighbors and threatening everyone all to create their ideal of what the country should be, and there's no snow. No one's wearing those hideous sweaters or wrapping expensive shit to give to each other.

Can't be, cuz here I am, at [X location] conducting [X mission] just last [X date] and I'm being called a Bleeding Heart for treating the locals with respect, because you see, this was the situation:

[Entry deleted, as per what may fall under OPSEC restrictions. When in doubt, cut that shit out, right?]

So yeah, it is kind of strange, I know, but the truth is that I'm actually a pretty compassionate person and I treat people the way I'd want to be treated. I just like to see a semblance of humanity now and then, and when you can cross a cultural barrier and connect with people even briefly, it's quite cool, and who knows, MAYBE these little things help us out, even if only a little. So yeah, I'll be the bleeding heart. For the common people? Yeah. I'll act the way I was raised.

But hold on, Powers That Be, you didn't completely sidetrack me here, I still wanna know: What gives? This is the month of all things Holy as well as Commercial? I'm standing out of the hatch as we drive by, and I'm waving to these kids, but they don't look like THEY'RE getting ready for Christmas.

Sorry bud, I don't buy it. I didn't acknowledge that last birthday, why would I acknowledge this poor attempt at celebrating a holiday that's all about being with your family? Sorry, but your fake plastic tree isn't going to make us feel like we're not in a war torn country a million miles away. For those who still want to acknowledge their holidays, I say go for it. But me personally? Just another day.

"What'd you do for your birthday?"


"What did you do on Thanksgiving?"

"Tower guard."

"Did you get bombed on New Years?"

"Bombed as in drunk or bombed as in shit exploded?"

Ok ok, you get it now. I'm not going to acknowledge the army's attempt at making the holidays seem....EXISTENT. So you ask yourself, "Damn man, you all right?"

The answer is a resounding yes. I'm still in this limbo and I've got my health. I've accepted everything that's happened so far and I accept that this is not the war I thought I signed up for. I've come to an understanding with The Force that's orchestrating these chicken-clusterfuck. Just slide on. You keep things simple for me, I keep things simple too, keep on trucking all Happy Go Lucky-like. Not too much to ask for.

They say violence is down XX% thanks to the Troop Surge. That's us, we're The Surge. We boarded planes and poured into all orifices of this country and impregnated it with a little more "order" and the Bad Guys don't have as much room to breathe and the "ball" is in their "court" and I'm still in limbo.

Keep it simple, and I will too: Take a knee, pull security, drink water, drive on. Scan the road, scan the rooftops, scan the windows, scan the alleys, scan it all. Bustling Third World life. And after all, why not? It's just time.

The absolute TRUTH, if you must know it, is that we're preparing for a secret operation, large scale. Our whole brigade, in fact. Very hush hush. Y'see, in a handful of months, a rather BIG handful of months, we're going to get all of our shit together, and stealthily board planes. We're invading the United States. Taking Fort Lewis first.

I've outlined a plan with my hand-picked squad. Our first objective is to secure a patrol base in the new barracks, simple. Immediately afterwards, we leave a security element in place and we mount up and drive to our next objective. Dismount at the Class 6 liquor store for a supply run. A MAJOR one.

We'll then return to said patrol base and secure it with loud music to frighten away lesser enemies, and we'll consume copious amounts of liquor to fortify our own courage, should anyone attack us. It shall be a triumphant and intoxicated last stand before we're expected to function in this strange new world.

Possible reconnassaince locations include Fox's Gentlemen's Club, depending on morale. More to follow.


  1. membrain said...
    Another excellent piece of writing Suspect. And it's no surprise that you're the compassionate one.

    Love the new look of the blog and the new tunes too.

    Stay as safe as you can.
    Anonymous said...
    Dude- we sent you 16 pounds of CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!! Wait... did Jarod wrap those presents or just dump them in the box? Don't answer that. I can already guess. By the way, when you get back and finish doing multiple recon missions at the local nudie bars, look us up!
    Luv ya & stay safe!
    Aunt Sandy
    WmEarl said...
    Lucky you, Fox's is still open and functioning, not that I would ever have gone there - but I am not young and you still will be... it will be waiting. Take care out there.
    Anonymous said...
    Damn Suspect, that was a good one. As we all prepare for the biggest hallmark/ toys r us/macys/even fucking walmart day of the year, I can't help but think about you and every other soldier in the box. Be it retarded, immature, selfish whatever, I am itching to get over there. 3 months until I go active duty and Im trying to get campbell or drum with high hopes of deployment. I do have a wife and three kids though and as the tree goes up and the snow is coming down I think that its wrong to want to go. And I know its a lot different now than it was in 2004. Call me a sucker for monotony and lonelyness. Whatever. Back to you..... It is Christmas and as many soldiers have done before, you will be at war. Though it may not seem like Christmas in that godless hell of a (desert [n.] A dry, barren region of land without adequate water supply) there are people here in the real world who will be thinking only of you on December 25th because to them it's just not Christmas either. Good luck Suspect keep your head down, hopefully our planes will pass each other in a handfull of months....Drive on green cowboy
    Anonymous said...
    You'll hear Dom Perignon corks popping all the way from cheesehead land when we hear you have landed on U.S. soil. Until then, whatever it takes.
    Anonymous said...
    Snow? What snow? It's 35 and windy here!
    Jessie said...
    Cookie? It won't be shaped like a Christmas tree, jingle bell, snowman, gingerbread man and/or house, snowflake, reindeer, or Santa. I'll send you one in the shape of a pumpkin instead.

    Hey, you said Christmas. Never mentioned past ones. ;)

    *looks up this elusive Ft Lewis* Oh, hey. It's across the country. Well, given where it is, you might get snow anyway. Of course, it might be melted into a gigantic puddle, but there'll be snow in theory. Stick in the freezer and refreeze it, then blend it in the blender. Make your own. *nods*
    themorethingschange... said...
    Sorry to hear that a man who does whats right because its right is called a Bleeding Heart...
    I guess it's not surprising tho...war tests a man's mettle and while the cream rises to the top, the jerks expose themselves for what they are. Holding onto your humanity despite all the crap isn't easy. I'm proud to know you.

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