The repeating cycle of day and day and indistinguishable day has resumed. We could have been here for days or for decades and we still wouldn't really be sure. Just doing our time, floating like a leaf down the sewage tributary that broke off of the River of Life. Think about this: if you were knee deep in shit long enough, would you get used to it, accept it as commonplace?

"Suspect, HORN!"

I yank the chain on the air horn to get the attention of the woman that stepped into the street as we fly towards her at 40 miles an hour. The day before, that chain was broken and I had to rig up a new one. Good thing, too. Otherwise we would probably be picking pieces of that woman out of the BirdCage. Disaster averted, and the odds of me being prescribed crazy drugs upon return are reduced a little.

"Hey, I think [lead vehicle] just hit a--"

"Yeah, we hit it too."

"Hit what?"



That's right, I'm driving again, aren't I? Simple enough, really. Keep one eye on the truck in front of you, listen for instructions, scan the road, windows and rooftops, drift this way, that way, slow down, speed up, hit the horn. Drop ramp. I'm on autopilot again.


  1. Rookie Army Wife said...
    I am strangely drawn to your blog. Hearing the music while I read your thoughts makes me almost see what you write. I hope when you come home you will always be able to write what you feel and come back to your life a free man.
    Anonymous said...
    Wake up dude...autopilot will get you hurt...
    Anonymous said...
    likelihood of needing drugs reduced...lol.

    Autopilot is probably not a good thing, but if it gets you through, then I guess it's what you have to do.
    red said...
    At least you've still got that morbid sense of humor. You have no idea how much I appreciate the laugh! Actually....come to think of it...you probably do.

    Glad to hear that you're doing a little better.
    WmEarl said...
    You fixed the chain, you honked the horn, you didn't hit the woman, you wrote in this blog, you worry about drugs to make you safely sane in civil society -- dude, you aren't on autopilot, you just aren't taking your part of the action, you are like that leaf drifting, bumping along. Take care out there, you remind me of a young fellow from long ago and far away, I like the music and the muse...
    WmEarl said...
    You fixed the chain, you honked the horn, you didn't hit the woman, you wrote about it, thought about drugs to keep you safely sane for civil society - dude, you aren't on autopilot you are drifting but you are aware - just not taking your piece of the action to your heart and soul, you want to be untouched and it is too late. Take care, I like your music and muses, you would be missed and I think I was like you once long ago and far away. Do take care.
    Jenni said...
    Ryan, i miss you...i can't wait until you come home. we're already planning your party... =)

    like you said, the way out is through. i love that because it's so simple yet so profound.

    have you watched the office yet?
    unc mark said...
    hey nephew
    to answer your question me and your mother were raised in cb mt
    thats not only to the knees it was to the ears /we didnt get used to it/ we had kids there we stayed
    until the toilet flushed us out of there

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