The Memorial Service Part Three

Ultimate Sacrifice. They said it. I didn't mind.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

The Tao of Willie Nelson.

Lessons you learn in this place.

It all seems to come together and for one brief moment now and then, it puts your head halfway where it needs to be.

The speakers did a great job, I had no anger, none of that. The first volley of shots made us all jump. Just like always. Roll call was a kick to the gut. The final salute was excrutiating.

I knelt at my buddy's boot, looked at his dogtag, said, "I love you man. We'll see you when we get there."

Drive on.

The CO, the First Sergeant, platoon members and NCOs, the Sergeant Major. Handshake, hug, encouraging words. The Seargeant Major told me to keep my head up and in the game.

I told him we've got this.

It's just time, and a crazy situation, fucked up war, fucked up country, fucked up time, but that's how it is. No sense in trying to fight it. Just do your job, watch your corner, pull security, drink water, drive on.

We got this.


  1. Anonymous said...
    I came across your blog a few weeks ago while researching for an assignment in my journalism class. I have read through both blogs and this most recent entry gave me goosebumps and tears. Hang in there, you'll be home soon.
    Anonymous said...
    I wish I had some words to comfort you--but there are no words.
    Just hang in there and as you said-drive on.
    Ky Woman said...
    Right now, it's hard to bear, so hard. I do know this, it gets easier with the passing of time...
    Sending hugs of comfort.
    chris k said...
    i'm not sure what to say i've never posted any comments on ur blog but...i do pray for you man. can't wait to see ya
    ToySoldier said...
    Glad to hear that the memorial service went well. I don't think it'll ever be anything different than driving on; what else can we do?
    Anonymous said...
    I never knew that three little words, "We got this" could have such an impact.

    Stay safe
    I Love You,
    Anonymous said...
    You make us proud.
    auteur paresseux said...
    Aww, Suspect. I'm sorry. Remember your friends fondly and drive on. This too shall pass.
    Anonymous said...
    You are so far ahead of we who are "back home", in this game of life. How'd you get so wise. I hate the words "Ultimate sacrifice". It's those left behind who bear the hurt. I want every single person in this whole country to know every soldier's story and who they are, and what we've lost (for someone's sake) when they go. And even when they make it home.
    Anonymous said...
    you've got the right 'tude to keep you going in an insane world

    keep on truckin'

    we are here for ya, 24/7
    wakingdaydreams said...
    If there was anything I could do to take your pain away, you know I'd do it in a minute. :`(

    Love you.

    Red said...
    suspect, I've been reading for a while, but never commented before. I've been moved to laughter, and to tears at different times as I've followed your story. I wish there were words to ease your pain, but you and I both know there aren't. Hang in there, man. We're pullin' for you. It sounds to me like you have the courage, the serenity, and the wisdom to make it through whatever this whole mess throws at you. We could all learn a lot from you. No matter what pain, I'm listening. It's the least I can do for you.
    Anonymous said...
    u are 1 dude that has his shi* together

    u r the best milblogger on the web right now
    membrain said...
    Oh Suspect. There are no words that can ease your pain though wish there were. However I offer these from a fellow milblogger:

    "A toast, my friends:

    For those who have made the ultimate sacrifice,
    And for those now on their final tour-

    Raise up your glasses for absent companions."

    Teflon Don
    Jessie said...
    Sweets, I can't offer anything useful I'm afraid. But if you were around, free booze and homemade cookies would be on the menu for as long as needed. Do what you need to do, handle it the best way you can, and don't beat yourself up over not grieving "the right way." It's your way, so it's right. Got it? Good man. You'll be okay.

    As others have said, you have your shit together, and I...there's not a lot to say, because we're not there, in the moment. But I wish with all my heart that you weren't losing people you care about.
    I.M. Small said...

    O, it is well, to serve one´s country,
    The homeland to preserve, and keep
    Secure--though war no childish stunt be,
    While we that serve do get in deep.

    O, I have heard from Wilfred Owen
    That it is proud, to fight and die
    For principles--or people goin´
    Out to the mall to shop and buy.

    Yet note as well, it is engaged
    These recent years, in a great struggle,
    Based upon lies, while men enraged
    Self-zone to places that no drug´ll:

    It is a long way back, if ever
    Return to normalcy be had:
    Permanently we run for cover
    As realize that war is bad.

    Most certainly, this war unjust
    As good for well-paid profiteers
    But not for us--it has gone bust,
    Unprincipled, and ours the jeers.

    Therefore, young man, although you might
    Consider an enlistment, first
    Heed words of those, with second sight,
    As saw the promises turn cursed.

    Enlist you might, but you will serve
    The worst of profit-driven men:
    In this case, you may have the nerve
    But nerve can´t calm a conscience when

    You realize that you were made
    A fool--the mind tries to resist
    The notion: causes are portrayed,
    But for this I would not enlist.
    Anonymous said...
    Bite me.

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