Something Not Right?

Houses, the worst shitholes you can ever imagine. Decadence beyond description. No one here is rich, come on. And yet they've got, by their standards, nice TVs, sattelites, PlayStation one. Sure, its a decade old now, but where? How? Air conditioning? Am I just losing it? Reading too far into things and seeing things that aren't there? Looking for my boogeyman and white whale a little too hard?

So NO ONE speaks any English but they know when to say "No"? No one's seen or heard or knows ANYTHING about any shady shit going on in the area? So why are there a half dozen military aged males hanging out in one house, another half dozen in another? Why is some guy asking so nicely if he can go run errands? Why are these guys so curious to watch us and look over our shoulders so to speak when we're checking things out? What days are classes held in the universities? Why does it seem like these guys are scowling when I see them out of the corner of my eye? Got a problem with eye contact? Why does it feel like they're lying out of their asses? And why does it feel like things aren't adding up?

And why am I not finding things I need to be finding? They're not stupid of course. And maybe they weren't hiding anything. Maybe I'm getting high strung.

Then why is it still so easy for me to be polite to all of them? To use what little Arabic I know to break the ice? To smile and wave to the kids? Hell, I'd hand out candy if I ever remembered to bring it.

A friend and I DID find something, but who knows if its of any consequence or not. Still, I reported it up and we all had a field day checking it out. Does it mean dick, or is it all old, archaic, and no longer applicable to anything? Am I just stabbing in the dark and chasing shadows?

I'm still the same old me, I know that much. The guys around here know that much. We just sat through a couple movies, cracking jokes and giggling like little girls.

It gets hot out there. With all that gear, it doesn't take long for my scrawny ass to get tired. Am I still sweating? Yeah, good. Better suck down another bottle of water anyway. Headache? Nah, good. Slight nausea? I think so. Maybe if we ate more than one real meal a day it would be different. The heat traps in pockets inside the body armor. When you sit down and lean back, you can feel it rising up along your neck and venting outward. Get tired too quick. But all you can do is wipe the fog off of your sunglasses and keep on trucking.

Now how to get them to talk? To tell us where to look, who to watch out for, who to bust. So we can mellow this fucking place out and go home to cold beers and shitty sitcoms.

We aren't just killing time out here are we? Just holding on until this whole thing ends one way or another? Complete or partial withdrawal, or maybe just the end of our tour?

I've found a couple things so far that hopefully might help us. I hope. This shit is easy to miss and overlook. How bout that big break?

Or maybe I'm just high strung.


  1. julie anna said...
    Keep writing. It's amazing how you can pull us right in there with you and make us see what you are seeing, think what you are thinking. I feel guilty that I can visit the life of a combat infantry soldier in Iraq and then simply click a button and leave, while you are still stuck over there.
    Anonymous said...
    in your situation a little paranoia is a good thing

    i'm sorry for your loss ~ wish we could get you all out of there and back home where you belong
    Anonymous said...
    We're with you whatever way we can, so keep the post going to keep truth alive. Regular folks really do want to know what's happening. It's one way to share this burden. We will keep doing whatever we can...write, call, and talk to those who have the power to end this mess.
    4/2 mom
    Anonymous said...
    So are you getting the opportunity to go back to being bored yet? Never thought I'd say this... but we miss the "combat jack" kind of posts (still not gonna shake your hand, tho.) J-rod's on the way to basic. Thought you might appreciate his rabbit in the headlights look. Stay safe!

    Aunt Sandy

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