6.14.2007

Break Things

I wasn't able to fall asleep last night, so I've been up for two days straight now. Don't expect everything to make sense.

Out in the big somewhere, we walked through rubble and trash, doing something I'm sure. Gunfire not too far from us, but it didn't really seem like it was coming directly towards us, so that's good. We cleared a bombed out building and as we moved into the open, I heard a sound I hadn't quite heard in specific before.


ZZZZSHZSHEW!

I turned my head to a friend. "That was a bullet huh?"

"Yeah."

At the moment, the only reaction I could muster was to laugh and utter the Jackass mantra, "Holy shit, dude!" I decided to stick a little more closer to the opposite side of the concrete pillars after that.

And then there was running, and clearing and panting and sweating, and fogging of the eyewear. And shifting of the shoulders with the weight of the body armor etc on it. And the looking for stuff, and the not finding stuff.

And then more of all that. New house, they all seem the same. Usually the doors are unlocked. When they aren't, you get to kick them in, and the frail wooden ones are lots of fun.

Abandoned houses and broken glass and shit all over the place, some houses really nice, some completely empty except for broken things.

The Iraqi Police that we worked with today were slow to do anything, showed no motivation, and got in my way more than anything. I'm not really a commanding type person, but even I was bitching at these guys to hurry the fuck up and do their job. It was pitiful, and they kept sneaking away when we weren't looking. Fuck them.

They did seem to think it was cool when I'd kick a door open and rush into a room like there was actually going to be someone to shoot or something. All that did though was wear me out quick. I've come to love and worship any tiny little breaks we get, sitting down and trying to cool off. I've found that if you pull forward on the neck of your body armor, you can feel all this heat ventilating out away from your body. It pretty much just rises up into your face, but hopefully it helps cool you down. The armor traps heat with a vengeance.

Good god, how much of this deployment is still left? As run into the ground as I feel after each day lately, I'm starting to think this is going to REALLY suck, and not just suck more than anything else in the world, but REALLY suck. This is a long time period we're staring at here, folks. But that's out of my control. Fuck it.

The point that I'm almost trying to make is that if you get to thinking about things too much out here, it'll trip you up. I'm exhausted, and thus less able to shrug things off. To put it in layman's terms:

OH MY FUCKING GOD, I AM IN IRAQ! WHAT THE SHIT WAS I THINKING? WHY AM I NOT CYCLING THROUGH SORRORITY GIRLS RIGHT NOW?!?! DUUUUUUUDE I AM DUMMMMMMB!!!!!

Stuff like that. Good night.

2 Comments:

  1. Jenni said...
    doughboy, sorority girls=nasty viral infections in the nether regions that don't go away.

    october's 4 months away. even with all your hard earned cash and i quote "i transferred $x000 into savings just because i could" i doubt you'll have to buy a single drink. maybe i'll even give you a hamburger to throw on dad's neighbor's roof again

    as for my friends, easy now cowboy ;)


    jenzers (did i spell it right?)
    Anonymous said...
    See? You're leaving your mark on the world! Unfortunately for them, it's on their front door!!! So you can come back here & work for Uncle David "knocking on doors"!

    Stay safe!

    Aunt Sandy

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