We took our strykers out to the middle of nowhere to fire off some mortar rounds because someone told us to. Plenty of hurry up and wait. From now on, always assume that anything I talk about is riddled with HU&W. We had to stop our convoy a couple times for camels crossing the road. I blew my horn (not the wussy one, the other, monstrous trucker horn) at them, and one lethargically turned his head and looked at me with a very pronounced, "Fuuuuuck you" look on his face. You're better off killing a person than a camel around here.

We were all driving with our hatches open, why I don't know. So naturally all sorts of sand is getting in our eyes, and I'm supposed to drive this damn thing? It was even getting inside my goggles. Bummer man. My life is sooo hard, omg lol.

I slept and played Need For Speed on PSP while my guys fired rounds downrange. Fast car noises, tires screeching, me yelling swear words at my pixelated competition and boasting my unyielding superiority in every respect, and the occasional BOOM accompanied with the rocking of the stryker. I didn't even bother to watch any rounds being hung, not even to see the fireball shoot out of the tube. Yawn. I have more important things to do, like PSP.

On the way back, we ended up sort of off-roading. I mean, it was part of our designated path, but the terrain wasn't exactly a hardball road. Long story short, I gunned it a bit. Hitting bumps, rocking the vehicle around, iPod cranking out random songs that I listen to. We came to a series of bumps or burms or whatever you want to call them. Half the truck airborne at a time, like those monster truck shows. Then I hit the third one. There is no question about it, the whole big green monster was airborne, all eight wheels, with decent hangtime.

In midair, just as the descent begins, I ask myself, "Did I just do something REALLY stupid?"

THUD! Mud shoots up all around us and we're still rolling, didn't seem to lose a differential or anything. I was, in layman's terms, fuckin JACKED.

This post was gonna be good, I swear. But I'm tired. They always make us work. Apparently that's what you do in the army. And I get sick of these internet cafes pretty quick.

Besides, busy lately. I should be sleeping.


  1. Jenni said...
    like I said...from crappy $100 Citation to million-dollar Stryker...not too shabby ;) you rock doughboy
    Strykeraunt said...
    You did write something good!! This post and the one before cracked me up!! I have never figured out how those vehicles can become airborne but have heard a couple of stories...it always makes me laugh when I visualize it. I saw a clip on youtube of a stryker becoming airborne...amazing. I have also seen a few pictures of them stuck in some nasty mud holes ;)

    "from crappy $100 Citation to million-dollar stryker..." I love it!!

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