Careful What You Wish For, Dickhead

As always, without disclosing too much, irony smacked me on the cheek. We WILL be going on missions. How often, I don't know, but I'm guessing we'll get a balance of both worlds. Infantry one day, POG the next. We'll see.

Nothing major new. God bless my ballistic sunglasses. With these majestic adornments, I can stare at the females (few and far between) without it being too obvious. How junior high can you get? Its awesome. A friend of mine and I are still wondering when its finally going to happen. When we get slammed with an EO complaint.

For those of you who watch My Name Is Earl, you may recall the Dibs game Earl and Randy play, which ultimately determined that Earl could not pursue Catalina. Sucks to be him. Anyway, like the adolescent morons we are, we decided that this is a good way to pass time in the chow hall, or anywhere else on the FOB. Upon spotting a woman, one must declare, "Dibs." Where this lacks any logic or reason is the fact that no one TRULY has dibs, and it determines nothing. Its more of a "I have a better eye for women" thing. Don't judge us, we're very bored here.

Now, in this game of dibs, normal standards and self-respecting man-laws do not apply. If the woman spotted would normally be considered utterly untouchable, it doesn't matter. You still call dibs. Getting a chuckle has never been this easy.

Actually, I kind of wish the girls would play this idiotic little game amongst themselves so that I wouldn't feel like such a creep, an asshole, a mysogynist, or god knows what. I'm sure we could easily be misconstrued as sexist, which would be a real bummer.

No matter though. At the end of the day, doesn't matter how many Dibs you called. You're still another blank face behind sunglasses in the same uniform as everyone else. They should build an equivalent to Tacoma's "gentleman's club", Fox's. Put it right here on the FOB and hire "contractors". They'd make a killing.

And I'm still talking out of my ass.

I'd do better to go eat chow, regroup with a friend or two, and hit the gym. I may not be actively fighting terrorism, but dammit, I'll fight the battle against this Napolean Dynamite type frame. Wish me luck.


  1. Anonymous said...
    Bored with a sense of anticipation/fear lurking right beneath the surface. Doubt anyone reading this who is not in the military can even imagine the feeling. So, have fun with your "I call Dibs" games! Anyone who is offended can Frack Off : ))

    Wondering if you are on the same FOB as my son, who is also on deployment from Ft. Lewis? I'll be looking for subtle hints in your posts.

    Take care of yourself Kiddo and don't forget to call or email your Mom once in a while. We worry when we don't hear from our sons : ))

    A 3/2 Mom
    Anonymous said...
    So, the sunglasses helped? I'm sure after about 7 or 8 months, those are going to be more like looking through the bottom of beer glasses. After that long they'll all look like you want "dibs".

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