2.28.2007

Here's a few softballs lobbed your way:

Name three bands you would like to see live.

Tool, Slipknot (a trip to the ICU afterwards I'm sure), maybe A Perfect Circle again, otherwise Radiohead, Staind, or The Mars Volta (again).

-Where do you see yourself in 10yrs?

Hopefully working in the film industry, on projects that I can be proud of, not brainless movies or shampoo commercials. If not that, who knows, maybe even the medical field. Crossed my mind a time or two.

-What state or part of the country that you haven't seen yet peaks your interest?

Las Vegas. We might be scratching that off of our list soon though ;)

-Why is the driver compartment of one Styker vehicle smaller than the other?

I don't really know anything about that one, and my gut tells me that this question is best left alone, what with the OPSEC factor. I think Strykers are still kind of hush hush but I'm not sure. Either way, I try not to talk about the innerworkings of it for two reasons. 1) I may be giving out information I shouldn't, and 2) I would reveal just how clueless I really am, and I'm supposed to come off as the ultimate GI Joe.

So in that vein, today, I picked up a Stryker and strapped it to my rucksack and ran around the airfield a few times, then did a few pushups. Then I time traveled and helped the Spartans kick some major ass so that the movie 300 could be made. But since I'm shy, I asked that my name not be mentioned in the credits.

That aside, thank you guys for reading and commenting and all that. Its cool to come back to my room to find comments and emails. I write for you these days. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't follow through, as I tend to do. Gracias.

2.26.2007

Q&A

Q: Who do you admire and why?
A: A lot of people. A comedian who went by the name Bill Hicks. On one hand, he was funny, but his comedy was more of a means to an end. He was very passionate about is views and the problems he saw with today's world, and he wasn't afraid to get his point across, no matter how bad the audience might take it.

Q: What else do you do during/after work?
A: I've been playing a lot of shooter type games online on Xbox360. I lose a lot. I also spend way too much time on this computer, watching videos on youtube, talking to people, or reading about whatever. Wikipedia is awesome for that.

Q: What's your opinion of the hospital, PX, etc?
A: I've gone to the hospital a couple of times when I've been really sick with big ol pissed off tonsils and/or strep. If its really bad, there's a decent chance of being put on quarters and being prescribed some decent painkillers, so that's a plus. Who DOESN'T like to sham out of work, watching cartoons in a near comatose state?

The PX is ok. I walk down there when I get bored. I was pissed off because they didn't seem to have a DVD called Waking Life that I'd probably love. Good place to get your hair cut, and they actually have Taco John's, a restaurant we have back home, so that's pretty cool too.

Other than that, I really never do anything else on post. I am a very boring person, hence my always whining and prattling on about being in limbo. My next step is to buy girl pants, wear eyemakeup and grow my hair into a fauxhawk, listen to Hawthorne Heights and cry while I complain to my livejournal.

Q: Where off post have you gone and what things have you seen that caught your attention?
A: Been to Seattle a couple times. Plus there's a few bars around here. Not a fan of the Schooner. Haven't been to Cowgirl Up in a while, and don't miss it. The Swiss isn't too terribly bad. Seattle has better bars, and Vancouver, CA is awesome.

We camped on Mount Rainier once. Hit up the Space Needle a couple times. Also went to that sci-fi museum not far from there. I wanted a picture of Donatello, and some dick wouldn't let me. I even turned the flash off. Tyranny.

Hooters is always a "Why Did I Come Here?" experience, but meh. Borders is a good place to chill, but without a car, I don't get out much.

And who can forget Fox's? Every Joe knows what Fox's is. For those of you who don't, its a strip club. You go there and pay money, and you get to see naked ladies. Amazing huh? And if you fork over enough cash to completely fill your gas tank, you get an unfulfilling lapdance. Awesome! Its awesome to see new privates come here. I took one kid to Fox's just to watch him blow an entire paycheck. Its true, I'm a bad person. Fox's is another one of those "Why Did I Come Here?" places, but every now and then we needed a little depravity in our lives. And I wasn't 21 until just last fall.

Q: What memorable moments have you had with other soldiers? Civilians? Dig deep!
A: I haven't done much dating around here. Scandal follows Joe everywhere, especially when women are concerned. And with MySpace, its even more out of control it seems. Joe shops online for women. Or maybe the women shop online for Joe, who knows. But one guy I know once got drunk and offered my girlfriend at the time a wonderful night of tantric sex. I laughed.

There was one time where I met a girl who worked at Spencer Gifts, and I started BSing with her (I had taken a cab to the mall because I was so unbearably bored that I thought I might puke blood). She seemed pretty damn cool, and a few weeks later I ran into her again, and she invited me to some party at some college. I think it was University of Puget Sound, but I really don't know and don't care. It was pretty cool. I actually didn't even drink, because I was still enrolled in ASAP, and I'm dumb like that. Watched a guy do a keg-stand for a pretty damn long time, and he waited until the cheers subsided to throw up all over the place.

They had a DJ in the room downstairs, and people sort of raving it up. I didn't know if anyone was on X or just alcohol and/or weed (ha, yeah didn't touch that either). But it was pretty cool. Something that I really never see. And then outside, the girls had a wrestling contest. It was held on a big blue tarp, and the girls were given a healthy coat of baby oil. How awesome is that?

Q: How does your family feel about you being in the Army?
A: I don't really ask them about it, but they're proud. They never fail to mention that. When I was talking about enlisting, they were the voice of reason, asking me if I knew what I was doing. Of course not, that's why I'm here [laugh track]. I think they're a little worried, but that's only natural. They're actually really supportive. My dad has life outlook/work ethic that you do what needs to be done, and there's no point in bitching or feeling sorry for yourself or trying to get out of it. Aside from the bitching, I've done an ok job of adopting that I think.

2.25.2007

RE: Roommates

Somebody wanted to know about the guys I serve with. So here's where I lob a hung over impromptu heap of incoherent babble.

Ok, so no names or anything, I'm trying to stay anonymous, even though it would probably be pretty easy for someone to piece it all together. And I also don't want to bash on anyone, which would be easy. There's always a lot of shit-talking around here. Instead, I'll just throw out random little morsels of awesome.

After we had been here for a month of two, me and a friend got drunk (most of these stories will start this way). I'm walking down the hall and as I pass the laundry room, I see this dude standing there with the lid to the washing machine open, a stream of piss arccing into it. Luckily it was empty.

Two of my friends were neck deep in a prank war with each other. It resulted in a pair of boots being glued to the floor.

My brain just froze completely. I'll have to touch on this again later.

2.24.2007

We Change

I was reading my older posts, the ones from the summer of 2005 when I first got here. I liked them a lot. These days, my posts arent like that. I used to try to find a way to make minor events interesting. Now I barely mention the big things. Like I've become so apathetic and indifferent to everything.

Lets try something.

All of you who happen to read this, email me or comment me with a question or two. Give me something to talk about that you're interested in. Lets see how well this works.

2.23.2007

There's No Place Like Home

Probably the funniest, wittiest thing I've ever seen in the army was a few months back. Someone was obviously getting out of the army, and apparently its a semi-common tradition to tie the laces of your boots together and toss them onto a power line. No idea how popular this practice is, but I've seen it twice, in locations within 30 second sprinting distance of my barracks (depending on where you start me).

Anyway, here is the Badass of All Badass example. One day, I see something dangling from the power line, and I decide to further inspect, and by that, I mean squint my eyes slightly and walk a little closer, which is a very tedious scientific process, but well worth the grueling effort. Dangling from this magical black line of cable TV and such was a pair of desert boots, painted red and completely covered with red glitter. Ruby Red, dare I say.

There's no place like home...

2.20.2007

Peering Down The Rabbit Hole

Since we came back from our field training exercise, we've been really busy with this whole three ring circus called "Predeployment."

Pre-de-PLOY-ment *noun*
The preparation phase before deployment in which all common sense goes out the window, tempers flare like raging hemrhoids, work hours change indefinitely, and wives are constantly pissed off.


We sent our vehicles off to get more random shit that I don't understand stuffed into or onto them, or whatever cosmetic surgery the big green divas are getting this time. Surely more things to make them more cramped and impossible to move around in. The infantry Strykers arent too bad actually, but they cram a lot of guys into them. The mortar Strykers are the object of my absolute hatred. Moving around in that god forsaken hunk of shit is like pulling teeth. You don't break that vehicle in, it breaks YOU in, with cuts and welts on top of your head. It teaches you how to swear vehemently, violently, voraciously, and with style and creativity.

We packed a whole bunch of boxes and office gear and god knows what into huge transportable shed things called MilVans or something, yesterday, while it rained all over us (funny story, Washington does that) and the wind sucked the heat out of our uptight shivering bodies. Today, and personal items that we want to bring are supposed to be packed, and I think we're supposed to pack a couple duffel bags. I don't know. I don't always listen so well. I'm usually too busy daydreaming.

Oh, that's right, we also have some briefing at some theater somewhere on this earth some time today supposedly. So really, I should get changed into a dry uniform and start packing some of my crap, but odds are, I'll just end up jumping on Xbox Live and getting my ass kicked in a rousing game of Call Of Duty 3.

Also: No, I don't know exactly where we're going or what we're doing, nor do I know when exactly we're going, and no, I still don't know if I get predeployment leave or not. But I HAVE done the paperwork they need, should I choke on a Buffalo Wing and kick the bucket while doing nothing in Iraq. So that's one less thing to worry about. I was tempted to fill out some smartass answers, which would result in a strange funeral, kind of a last joke of mine, but I don't know if anyone else would think it funny. Still, if you're an attractive female Active Duty servicewoman, shoot me an email if you want to escort my remains, it'll be like a little vacation, something to think about. Even better if you can pull together an entourage. We won't even have to make small talk or anything, cuz I'll be busy taking up space in some gray military coffin, wearing Class A's that don't fit anymore. So you know, something to think about.